Alternate Universe
by Texan Red Rose
Summary: Captain Planet & The Planeteers, rebooted.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Captain Planet or the Planeteers. Keep in mind, this is mostly played for the lulz; the last time I actually watched an episode of CP was... probably a decade ago, maybe more, so don't expect too much on the 'in character' scale. This was born from a (slightly drunk) challenge made by Dio (known as Epicurus on here) to "re-envision the show's universe". This does not actually feature Captain Planet, but the Planeteers and Gaia make appearances. Also, an OC. **Warning:** THIS IS NOTHING LIKE THE SHOW. SERIOUSLY.

-Darker, Edgier-

_Tink. Tink. Tink._

One after another, small rocks hit the metal bars blocking the room's sole window, the resonating metal the only audible sound in the small space where four young people sat and waited. The young African man throwing the rocks, sitting against the wall opposite the window, had his head leaned back, his knees bent, and eyes closed. The other three occupants were staring into space from their respective perches- the blonde Russian was laying on the single cot staring at the ceiling, the Thai girl sitting beside the rarely used and probably non-functioning sink, and the Kayapo Indian boy was seated beneath the window and attempting to meditate, not very successfully.

"Kwame, could you _please_ stop that?" Ma-Ti opened his eyes and nearly glared at the African, who paused in his rock throwing to evenly stare back, a small smile on his lips.

"They will kill us at night fall, you realize that," Kwame leaned his head back until it softly hit the wall. "These are militants we're dealing with and I know how they think. No amount of meditation or compassion is going to get us free."

"A wise man once said 'he only is exempt from failures who makes no effort'," Ma-Ti glanced at the door to their small cell. "There is still a chance."

"A wiser man once said 'never bring a knife to a gunfight'," the Thai girl- Gi- sighed, rolling her neck without looking at her companions. "Kwame's right; we will be killed."

"Ze American is still out zare," Linka spoke up from the cot, her eyes still focused on the ceiling above. Gi raised a brow.

"You think he can save us?"

Linka snorted, rolling her eyes. "No; I zimply think ve shall die a little more painfully ven he tries to 'rescue' us."

"Such faith we have in each other," Ma-Ti held his head in his hands, his shoulders sagging slightly. "We shouldn't have come here…"

"We came here for the right reasons, Ma-Ti," Kwame threw another stone. "Our plan just did not work like we had hoped."

"I knew zis vas coming," Linka sighed and sat up, swinging her legs over the side of the cot to face the others. "You zink you could have done better, I trust?"

"I misspoke," Kwame yielded, having thought the plan was as flawless as they were going to get, given the circumstances. "We came here believing the group was a bunch of poachers on a pleasure hunt."

"We didn't expect the assault rifles, that is true," Gi raised a hand to slowly finger her golden medallion, the metal still cool to her touch despite the heat of the surrounding rainforest.

Outside their small cell, a few men shouted in their native language, followed by laughter. As one, three of the room's occupants turned to Ma-Ti, who raised his head enough to give them a slightly grim smile.

"Their contact within the Black Market sent them a message. Seems they are low on human kidneys and will pay handsomely for ours," he motioned towards himself and Kwame, giving the young women a small glance. "I don't think you want to hear the rest."

Gi and Linka groaned, the Russian crossing her legs while the Thai hugged hers to her chest.

Kwame sighed and let the rocks in his hands fall to the floor. "Sometimes, I wonder why I left Africa."

"Considering ze state of your country, zat is quite the statement."

"Yes, we know, Linka," Gi allowed herself a small smile, doing her best to fake a Russian accent. "In Soviet Russia, war find you!"

Despite their situation, the four eco-warriors laughed. While they hadn't quite learned how to get along yet, each of them had the ability to laugh at themselves when the situation called for it. Each took a moment to absently rub the middle finger of their right hand, where their elemental rings should have been. Instead, the rings were probably being melted down for their precious metal, the stones set in them removed to be sold as well. They never even got the chance to use them; the four were ambushed by the militants before they even made it to the encampment.

Through the window, shouting could be heard from the far side of camp. Frantic, panicked shouting, the voices getting softer as the men ran towards the disturbance. Again, the Planeteers looked at Ma-Ti.

"There's a fire in the camp."

"And ze American makes his appearance," Linka leaned back on the cot. "Any moment, ve shall hear ze explosions-"

Two thunderous booms rang out through the camp, slightly shaking their small cell. The men standing guard outside their door moved, their footfalls nearly in sync as they raced down the hallway. A few moments passed, a third explosion punctuating the air, before a set of heavy boots started down the hallway, just as quickly as the guards had hurried away.

"How long before they capture him?" Gi wondered, turning her head to look at the window.

"They probably already have," Kwame laughed, spreading his hands wide. "Wheeler was never one for planning ahead."

"I heard that." The four prisoners looked at the door in shock as it was kicked in, the metal bending slightly from the impact before clattering to the ground. There, wearing a slightly cocky grin, was the redheaded American himself, smelling strongly of gasoline. "So, did ya miss me?"

"Will wonders never cease," Kwame laughed, quickly standing as Wheeler flicked him his ring, throwing the remaining three to their respective owners.

"One for you, one for you, one for you, aaaaand one for you!" Wheeler peeked down the corridor while the others slipped on their bands, glad to have their powers back. "We'd better get out of here before-"

A fourth explosion rocked the camp, a flurry of gunfire filling the silence that followed.

"Wheeler, what did you do?" Gi glared at the American as they exited the room, the young man in question leading the way.

"All _I_ did was tip over some gasoline containers near the power generators and vehicles and wait for someone to take a smoke break," Wheeler threw his hands into the air as they turned a corner littered with yellowing papers, chairs, desks, and debris. "_Suchi_, on the other hand, decided to make things a family affair."

The group came to a stairwell, descending to the first floor of the building, which was most likely a former school at one point. Oddly enough, none of the previously imprisoned Planeteers remembered being drug up the stairs- not that they were conscious when it happened, of course.

"A _family_ affair?" Ma-Ti took a few quick steps to grab Wheeler's wrist, stopping their progression just shy of the opened main doors. "What does that mean?"

Wheeler seemed at a loss for words but was saved when a man cried out in pain, the sound echoing through the school's halls. A moment later, a militant staggered backwards and hit the ground just inside the doorway, struggling valiantly to keep the snapping jaguar from sinking its fangs into his neck, face, or wherever. The American pointed at the scene.

"It means he was pissed and missed you; now can we _please_ leave 'Q and A' time for later and move right into the 'damage control' phase?"

"Ze American-"

"_Wheeler!_ My name is Wheeler!"

"-he iz right," Linka brushed past the man still struggling against the large cat and stepped out into the camp, noting the havoc dominating the scene. Behind her the others trickled out, with Ma-Ti stopping long enough to calm the jaguar and 'encourage' the man to pass out.

On the far side of camp, the fires were still raging but all attempts to stop them had halted in favor of fighting off the various animals that had invaded the camp. Birds of all sizes and colors were swooping in to harass the men as they tried in vain to fend off more big cats, canines, and primates of various species, all of which indigenous to the Amazon. The gunfire- which had slightly decreased in frequency- was as much aimed shots as firing blindly while running from the land mammals or the avian attackers. As the five took the scene in, an anaconda slithered its way passed them, just in time to be noticed by a man running from a puma, effectively terrifying him into hitting the ground with a sickening thud.

Four sets of eyes blinked as the anaconda slid over the man's body.

"If it's any consolation, he is just unconscious," Ma-Ti reached down and picked up the discarded weapon from the man attacked by the jaguar, checking its functionality with ease.

"You know how to use that?" Kwame raised a brow, with Wheeler equally skeptical of their smallest companion. Ma-Ti just grinned.

"Yours is not the only country training children to fight wars."

Kwame nodded slowly, thrusting his arm out in front of them without warning, sending three small columns of dirt into the stomachs of three more militants running from their animal attackers. "This is true."

With swift kicks to the grounded men's heads, Gi and Linka picked up their weapons and turned them over for inspection.

"H and K… Zese are German weapons," Linka frowned, noting the rather stellar condition of the weapon and drum magazine given the environment.

"It would seem these men are better backed than we thought," Gi ejected the drum and grabbed a new one of the man closest to her. "Not to mention they were expecting trouble."

"Do you think we were set up?" Wheeler raised a brow, bending down to pick up the last weapon available- semi automatic pistol.

"Us, or someone else; these men were expecting company of the hostile variety," Kwame joined the four, having retrieved the weapon from the unconscious man.

"So, what do we do?" Ma-Ti looked at the taller members of the group. "Should we live up to their expectations?"

In answer, both Linka and Gi violently jerked the cocking handles back, ensuring rounds were ready to be used.

"They were going to sell us on the Black Market," Gi lifted the assault rifle to rest comfortably in her hands. "I find it perfectly reasonable to show them I don't appreciate that gesture."

"So you're going to kill them all?" Ma-Ti looked between the girls, then at the other two, all of whom wore sheepish expressions.

"Uh, vell… no…"

"But they don't need to know that," Wheeler offered a small smile and the young man nodded.

"I just wanted to clarify before you decide to go all 'Rambo' on us," Ma-Ti started off where the loudest yelling was coming from, his companions following closely. Without diverting much of his attention, he searched the hearts of those still conscious in the camp. "Whatever they're here for is that way; those who aren't scared out of their minds are guarding it."

As the five Planeteers moved through the camp, they were being watched. Perched on the top of the abandoned school, unseen by human eyes, Gaia pursed her lips at the scene before her. Noiselessly, a large white tiger settled next to her, a feline smile revealing a few fangs.

"Well, this is turning out well," the white tiger crossed her paws and settled her head on them, eyes fixated on the five humans bearing Gaia's rings of power.

"Oh shush, Harmony," Gaia sighed, massaging her temples. "Why did I think this was a good idea again?"

"Because, as with most humans, their hearts are in the right place," Harmony replied, glancing at the spirit of the planet. "They just have no idea how to, well, execute."

"Yes, I know, but still," the spirit gestured to the ruined camp below them. "This is not what I had in mind."

"You cannot turn back the clock any more than you can be fully restored to your former glory. All that we can hope for-"

"Is to find the balance which will allow man, animal, and Earth to peacefully exist, together," Gaia slightly smiled. "I know that, old friend."

"Then what's the problem?" Harmony cocked an ear towards the camp as yet another explosion echoed through the air. Gaia let her face fall into her hands.

"They're giving me a headache."

"Ah," the tiger shrugged. "I believe the expression goes: 'sucks to be you'."

Gaia shot her fellow spirit a glare. "You've been hanging out with mortals again, haven't you?"

Harmony nodded. "How else would I get laid?"

-end-

Author's Note: The intention of this was not to offend anyone; simply put, I was taking a very kid friendly show and making it, well, _not_. At all. Oh, and I am pretty much expecting flames on this, so if you feel the need to rant, go ahead.


End file.
